Mommy #33: A Piercing Decision

[GamerDad]

Sheila Paxton's Mommy #33: A Piercing Decision article - http://www.gamerdad.com/detail.cfm?itemID=3327

[GamerDad]

Hoo-boy, I better not tell Maggie that Shayla refused that opportunity. Maggie can't wait! I think Linda is making her wait until 10 or so. Anyway, my other point is that I have the opposite reaction when I see a baby with pierced ears. I find it disturbing, can't exactly say why. I just really don't like the way it looks.

Oh and the holes aren't permanent. I had to work pretty hard to prove to Maggie that I had a hole in my left ear and I had that earring in for... 10 years or so? Course I avoided the big danglers and upside down exclamation points (helloooo 80's there Sheila!). Not because I was against danglers, it's just that I had a friend who had this cool claw one that became extremely uncool when it hooked on his collar and he ripped open his ear when turing his head. Ow!

[txa1265]

I have to applaud your decision to wait - I don't have a big problem with it, but feel that your thoughts about making it special are important.

I think my younger son will end up with one sooner or later. He loves jewelry - got a great lighthouse ring on vacation. He isn't concerned with the pain - he gets 4 allergy shots every month, so when he asked, my wife said 'like one shot in each ear without the swelling and hotness'.

Good luck on #2 getting pierced ... someday!

Mike

[momGamer]

I made my gang wait until they were 12, boys and girls. I wanted them to take care of it and really do it themselves.

Johnathan did it, but he let them grow in after a year or so. Stephen never did - he wants a tatoo far more and is already planning one as part of his birthday celebrations (it's the big one-eight this time).

The girls and I went into the mall a few days after their 12th birthday and did the deed. They were terribly into it for a while, but since then they mostly just keep a pair of studs in that coordinate with whatever sweatshirt they're wearing that day. They both have very long hair so dangly ones are a real tangled pain unless they're putting it up.

I wear earings maybe 10 times a year - for performances or if I'm going to go to a dressy occaision. But I am the antithesis of girly-girl, so don't use me as an example for anything.

[Tater-Dad]

Make sure whenever they get them to remind them there's gonna be a week to a month of after care ( I forgot how long it was...). Lori got her ears pierced sooner than I expected her to ask...but she didn't like the after care of swabbing w/ alcohol, and turning the studs so they dont get scabbed into her ear. Hers have completely healed over, and she hasn't asked again. I kinda pushed against getting her ears pierced before she asked-but she asked us on her own & we told her it was okay.

[Mommy!]

I haven't even considered letting my son get his ears pierced. I think I'll let his dad handle that one...

I've heard of people's holes growing in, but my husband still has his some 12 years later. I think it bothers him, since he only wore one for a year in high school. Perhaps it has to do with the person? Who knows. I do think it's a personal choice and not something that should be made without any input from the kid.

I was checking in a kid when I worked in the church nursery a while back. I asked, "What's her name?" and the mother got all huffy. "I don't know why everybody thinks he's a girl!" Get this - this two year old boy had both ears pierced with large sparkly studs. I'm sure he'll be happy about that decision in ten years

Thanks for reading, guys.

Sheila

[GamerDad]

That hole might bother Shawn more because he's in the military. Back in '92, at SFState, you were an odd kind of guy if you only had one earring. But I actually got mine because a friend of mine was killed in a car crash. The night before he died, he told me I'd look cool with an earring. The next morning a mutual friend called and told me about the car accident, and within 2 hours I had an earring. If I had thought about it I probably wouldn't have done it. I kinda liked having one, in a "this is a tiny representation of my oh so important idealistic beliefs and non-conformist ways" symbol. But I cringe at how it looks in pictures. The early 90's semi-mullet makes me cringe too. Sigh.

If Henry wants one later that's fine by me. But he's going to have to be in high school at least. I showed Linda your article and she said:

"I got earrings at 10, Maggie can wait that long too."

(I neglected to remind Linda that Maggie wasn't supposed to get any make-up or painted nails until 10 as well and those ships have already sailed.)

[Darkhonor]

I'm with GamerDad - I find something disturbing about babies with pierced ears... And I don't mean to be offensive but there's just something wrong about it. I was also raised in a home where my Dad's most fervent (and only really) religious belief is that The Body is a TEMPLE! You do not desecrate that temple lightly. or at all, really. I think I was 12 when I finally got it done and.... I've had it redone four times since (at least)... Mine grow in quickly so if I wanted earrings on a special occasion I had to go get them hacked open again. My own policy is.. well if I were being really strict I'd PREFER they were 18 and of an age where they could theoretically make a wise decision - same with other piercings or tattoos (actually I prefer 21 for tattoos)... But I know that isn't going to work so realistically it will probably be 8th grade - perhaps as a Jr. High graduation thing. Hopefully by then I won't have to deal with anything beyond paying for it.

[Tater-Dad]

my Dad's most fervent (and only really) religious belief is that The Body is a TEMPLE! You do not desecrate that temple lightly. or at all, really.

who's desecrating? Decorating I don't have much of a problem if the kids asked for tat's & piercings...they'd get the piercings quicker than the tatoos for the more obvious reasons, like the holes could grow back,but a tatoo is a lot more expensive to get rid of.

[SiW]

Not only is it a lot more expensive, it's still pretty much impossible to get rid of a tattoo. Check out Cockeyed's (not entirely work-safe but always interesting) writeup. Almost two years and over a $1000 later, and it's still very obvious.

That's why tattoo artists do such good business with cover-ups, replacing that poorly thought-out teenage mess with something that looks good.

[Gamermum]

I find the baby ear piercing disturbing as well, again I am not sure why.

Also, and this is going to make me sound like a total snobby cow, but where I grew up, it was only scallies - (Liverpool version of white trash) who pierced the ears of their babies so that undoubtedly coloured my view of it.

I had noticed at home that people from other countries tended to have their babies ears pierced more often, so it's obviously something that is effected heavily by cultural upbringing. I know in some cultures piercing the babies ears has great meaning, so again I guess the way we all feel about it to some extent depends on the way in which we were brought up and where.

My grandmother was not really religious but when it came to ear piercing she would say, if God wanted you to have holes in your earlobes he would have put them there

I actually got my first holes put in when I was about fourteen I guess, then I got my second lot put in when I was maybe nineteen.

I didn't let my eldest daughter get hers done until she was twelve but she now has two lower sets and one on the very top of her ear.

Funnily enough my second daughter just had hers done about two weeks ago, she is going to turn twelve on the 21st and wanted to get it done in the school holidays so it was all healed before she goes back to school, also on the 21st, poor girl.

We had a long chat before hand about her being responsible for cleaning etc and she has done very well.

The boys will have to wait until they are around the same age if they want it done.

[Greg1038]

Unless their thinking changes radically, any tats my boys would get before the age of 35 would be severely regretted every minute after the age of 35. And they earlier they get it, the earlier they will begin to regret it. I am sure one of you scientist types (nerd score of 90+ req'd) could devise a formula that predicts the age of regret based upon the age of the inking.

I'm all for the mistakes of youth, as long as they aren't permanent, like a criminal record or tatoos. I am cringing already at the prospect.

[Darkhonor]

I purposefully got my tattoo placed where I don't see it everyday (my back).. so when I do see it I just enjoy it instead of saying.. "Blah, what the hell was I thinking?" and get sick of the thing. Regret can be artfully avoided

[GamerDad]

Linda is a Geriontological Nurse and I've been kidding her that we should market a photo book showing what tattoos look like when you're 60+. Market that to parents to show their teens to scare them away.

[Greg1038]

I purposefully got my tattoo placed where I don't see it everyday (my back).. so when I do see it I just enjoy it instead of saying.. "Blah, what the hell was I thinking?" and get sick of the thing. Regret can be artfully avoided

At least you still enjoy it, which means you chose well as a personal matter. I would think a flaming skeleton riding a motorcycle (and probably battling a dinosaur), which will be my boys likely tat of choice for the next 10-15 years, might not be as appreciated as they "mature."